What does it mean to enable someone’s drug addiction?

Enabling in cases of drug or alcohol addiction means to shield, cover up, or otherwise prevent the addict from experiencing the full consequences of their behavior. When a family member or a friend engage in a behavior that allows the addict to continue to use drugs or alcohol, that’s enabling.

Why do family members often fall into the trap of enabling?

The desire to help other people, especially a family member or a close friend, is a natural and powerful instinct. When someone becomes addicted to drugs, they begin to suffer many different consequences. For their family and friends, the drive to help the addict with their problems is strong and difficult to overcome. The impulse to help backfires and often has tragic consequences for everyone involved.

When someone becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, the neural pathways in the brain that are responsible for risk and reward are rewired. The person is dependent on the drugs to feel “normal.” Quitting means they will experience painful physical and emotional withdrawal symptoms. To continue fueling their addiction and avoid pain, addicts will engage in many different manipulative behaviors to keep using drugs.

When family ties are involved, and powerful emotions of love and family loyalty enter the equation, family members can quickly find themselves engaging in enabling behaviors without even realizing it. It’s natural for people to want to help those who are down on their luck. But if someone has lost their job or their home as a consequence of their drug addiction, trying to help them by giving them money or a place to stay only prolongs the cycle of substance abuse. It does not provide the addicted person the chance to face their problems head-on and change.

When the problems of addiction are masked or otherwise covered up, everyone can continue to operate in a state of denial. Families allow the fear of what could happen to their loved one if they were to experience the full consequences of their drug addiction trap them in a cycle of enabling.

It can be stressful and terrifying for family members to stop enabling the addict. Enabling gives loved ones the illusion of control and safety, but enabling prolongs unhealthy behaviors while the addict becomes sicker and sicker from drug or alcohol abuse. It’s crucial that to stop the cycle of enabling, family members realize that no matter what, they do not have control over another person’s actions. They can only control their behavior and change how they react to situations.

What can family members do?

• Get outside support. Attending 12-step meetings or therapy sessions that are designed for families of addicts can give loved ones the tools they need to make positive changes in their lives.

• Encourage the addicted loved one to get help, without resorting to blaming and judgment.

• Stop shielding the addicted loved one from the consequences of their drug or alcohol abuse. This may include not loaning them money, not paying their bills, or not giving them a place to live.

• Follow through with plans to stop enabling. Being inconsistent, or making empty promises to change will only prolong the cycle of drug abuse.

Watching a family member suffer the consequences of their drug addiction can be emotionally painful. It’s crucial that family members have outside help. If you’re struggling with enabling behavior, please reach out to an experienced drug abuse counselor today from Windward Way to find resources to help your loved one overcome their addiction.